Is your mom dead? So is mine.
Last year, I experienced my first Mother's Day after my mom Deborah died. I wanted to crawl into a hole, smash my phone, and never turn on my computer again. Sandwich boards outside of jewelry stores made me cringe. Every commercial yelling about "special deals for mom" made me cry. And every time I was served an ad for 50% of flower delivery, I would shake my fists with rage.
Today, I don't think that every Mother's Day has to be like this. Yes, I'll get sad, yes I'll get mad—grief is complicated af and I still cry on the reg. But I realized that there's a lot of us out there dealing with it and one thing that helps is knowing that we're not alone on the rollercoaster that is grieving 24/7/365. There are people that won't ask you dumb questions, tell you to make sure you pick something up for your mom before Sunday, or question why you're not celebrating "the woman that gave you life".
When my mom died, I was told that I'd joined a club—one we'll all be a part of one day, but one that some of us join a little early.
The Dead Moms Club.
I've learned about other people in The Club through different means: conversations that I started about my own mom, conversations that they started about their loss, Facebook, Instagram, dinner parties, grief groups, networking. Personally, I love meeting men and women that want to talk about their dead moms. So these pins were inspired by my own desire to connect with more people in The Club—not only through our voices and the strength it takes to talk about a loved one lost, but also those moments when we just need the reminder that there are more people out there silently face-palming themselves through tears on Mother's Day.
These pins are for everyone in The Club. People of all ages, all genders, all backgrounds. People at all stages of their grief—fresh or deep into their journey. A friend, a family member, and maybe even your own mother.
For those of you who have lost your mom: Do you include her name in every conversation you can? Do you hate talking about her but want some other way to honour her? Do you wish you could start more convos about her but have no idea how? Do you need a reminder that you're not in this alone and that there are people all over the world in your shoes? Dead Moms Club is here for you.
About me: Alica is a creative exploring grief, death, and dying through storytelling. With over 10 years of experience as an editor and writer, Alica's work has taken her all over the world and she now works with an extensive network of international writers and artists as collaborative partners for print and digital death-focused projects.
About the designer: Evan Papa is a graphic designer, creative thinker and overall nice guy. Most of his career has been spent in branding, developing a particular expertise in digital, print and logo development. In addition to graphic design he is also trained in the dark arts of art direction, retouching and photography.
And thanks to my friends Alex & Jess who have talked to me at length about The Club. You're my fave members. #bless